If you can read this, you're cured

In the November 19 edition of Daily Dose, I told you how Ritalin is taking over the youth of the nation. But why would any self-respecting pharmaceutical company stop there when there are so many more of us to profit from?

According to the "experts," we're facing a massive epidemic: "Contrary to popular belief, ADD (attention deficit disorder) does not go away at the end of childhood or adolescence. In at least two-thirds of the cases, the symptoms may be as severe at age 45 as they were at age 5 or 10. The difference is that classical 'hyperactivity' seen in most ADD children becomes less prominent, but severe impulsivity and inattentiveness often continues into adulthood, frequently getting worse, impacting relationships and functioning at work and at home."

What a brilliant discovery. Those little squirrels all turn into adult squirrels - and they all desperately need vitamin R, before the nation goes down in ruin.

Check out some of the most common symptoms clinicians are being urged to look for:

• A quick temper
• Forgetfulness
• Restlessness
• A headstrong "uncooperative" nature; determination to "do things your own way"
• Frequent failure to read or complete materials given to you for review
• Projection of blame onto others
• Impatience

Since everyone fits the diagnosis, one way or another, it is apparent that everyone has adult attention deficit disorder, called AADD. You're may even read this list and think you need Ritalin.

Try a cup of warm tea instead while you consider that Ritalin can cause any or all of the following: psychosis, hostility, zombie-like behavior, hallucinations, hair loss, bed-wetting, convulsions, heart attack, and death. No one needs to put him or herself at risk for potential dangers like those just to treat an imaginary condition.

If the tea doesn't work and you're still worried, go online and search for "adult ADD questionnaires."

Here's a hint: If you can read through and answer the entire questionnaire, most of which are between two and four pages long, I doubt you have a problem with your attention span!